STOP DENYING YOUR TRUE DESIRES AND GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT!

STOP DENYING YOUR TRUE DESIRES AND GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT!

Are you saying to yourself, I would like it but…?

Are you convincing yourself, “It’s ok, I’ll do it next time”?

Are you thinking “I can live without it”?

Been there, done that. And not once but million times.

And just recently admitted to myself “I really want it”, ” I don’t want it next time, I want it now”, “I can live without but I don’t want”.

why it’s hard to say “I want it”

It all started with a trip invitation I’ve got. My first thought, of course, was “Oh no, it’s too expensive, I cannot afford it. I will not go”. Which is very usual for me, that’s how I react to all opportunities in my life. I can give in time, energy, hard work but when it comes to money, it’s always “I can’t afford it”. I even convince myself “I don’t want it, I will go next time, I will go on another trip,…”

Until I started talking about it, thinking what I’m missing and realized – I really want to go! I’m denying my desire.

I couldn’t admit to myself that I want to go cause that would mean spending money that is out of my comfort zone.

I was finding all the logical reasons why I shouldn’t go, why I should go next time not now, I don’t have money, I have no time,…

 

Acknowledge Your Desire

Notice in your life and in other people how often we’re denying our desires. 

Acknowledging your desires is the first step in achieving that desire.

If you don’t acknowledge what you want, if you don’t say openly to yourself and to others what you truly want, most probably you will not achieve it. 

A lot of people say “I want to lose weight”, “I want to look good for a birthday party”, “I want to fit in my old jeans”,…

In order to fulfil our desire, we have to dig a little bit deeper and really find our true desires and why we want it.

Why is important for you to look amazing on your best friend’s wedding party? Why is important to you to fit in old jeans? Is it because you want to impress other people and to show everyone how you look great or that is truly important to you, to look good, to be confident.

When you go deeper and realize that for you is not important to look good, but to be confident or maybe you want to lose weight to be healthy and has not much to do with fitting in old jeans.

Your true desires is not to see a lower number on the scale (lower number on the scale feels good for 5 seconds and then what?) but to feel great, to be confident, to look good, enjoy shopping or have more energy. 

Ask yourself “Why I want it? What is my reason? What is my true desire?”

That desire will last long, that desire will fill your soul and drive you to your goal.

The first step in accomplishing anything is acknowledging your true desire

This can come with a lot of emotions (fear, excitement, happiness, doubt,…) and when it does know that thet is normal.

As I mentioned a trip I want to take, I didn’t even ask myself what I wanted. The first thing I did was the usual “It’s too expensive”, “I don’t have money”, “I’ll go next time”,…

The same thing is happening with weight loss. If you have 250 pounds, you probably don’t allow yourself to have a desire to have 120 pounds.

You’ll say I want to lose 50 pounds but that goal is not exciting enough. You know when you reach 200 pounds, you’ll not be that happy and you’ll want more and more and more.

Dig deeper and don’t be afraid of your desires.

Many of us are afraid of our desires because we think we’re asking too much, it’s for others not for us.

The first thing is to acknowledge the desire no matter how big it looks like right now.

By acknowledging desire you’re acknowledging a person you want to become. A person you’ll be when you lose all of the weight or when you accomplish any desire.

The first step is to acknowledge a desire and to admit to yourself. YES, I want this, YES, I want to have 130 pounds. YES, I want to be toned, I want to be fit, I want to eat healthy, I want to enjoy eating salad,..

Small or big is of less importance than to say to you what you truly want.

Wanna talk about why losing weight is so important to you and how to get there? Schedule a FREE Consultation Call. I’m here to help you get yourself on weight losing track!

Record Your Desire

Put it down on a piece of paper.

Write it down in a journal.

Write down how you’ll feel when you achieve your desire. Allow yourself to live that moment, how you will look, how your life will look like, who you will be surrounded with, where you will be,… everything and anything.

Don’t be afraid if you have 250 pounds to write down “I want to weight 120 pounds”.

From your perspective right now that seems so far ahead, that might seem even impossible. But don’t forget there are so many people who weight 120 pounds and that means that it’s possible for you too.

So whatever it is put it down on a piece of paper and don’t be afraid of it.

Take it a step further

If you want to take it step further – tell someone.

Tell someone you trust, your friend, your sister, a family member your partner.

Tell them what you truly want. Speak about it.

The more you speak about it, the more it becomes reality.

When talking to somebody else you’re talking to yourself and seeing yourself reaching the desire and bringing it to reality.

I know that it might feel so hard even to admit to yourself that we want something. So when you take it step further and admit to other person, it can be very scary. The bigger desire the scariest it is.

If your desire doesn’t scare you than you might consider desiring even bigger.

If your desire is easily achievable it will not scare you and it will not excite you. But when you reach that point when you’re scared when thinking about it feels like “I cannot do this”, “people will think that I’m crazy”, “that is not possible for me”,…

When you reach that point that means you’re on the right track.

 

Is your desire to lose weight? Schedule a FREE Consultation Call. I’m here to help you get yourself on weight losing track!

Believe

The third step is – belief.

Believe that you can do it.

As I have mentioned before, if you saw anyone already having what you want to have, the money you want to have, the body that you want,… If there is one person in this world having what you want, it means it’s humanly possible and if it’s possible for them, it’s possible for you.

So many people fail in this step.

They have a desire, talk about it, dream about it but deep inside they don’t believe that they can achieve it.

When you’re overweight, failed in so many diets, tried so hard to lose weight but haven’t succeeded, it’s hard to believe that you can lose weight. Otherwise, you would lose it till now.

After all diets and failing in them it’s so easy to lose faith and belief that you can lose weight.

Beliefs can be changed.

Belief is only a thought that you keep on thinking. Beliefs aren’t who you are, beliefs are created and adopted.

Changing your beliefs it’s a process of recognizing your beliefs (specifically negative beliefs that are limiting you and not serving you) and replacing them with other beliefs that are serving you more.

How to do that? Simple, write down beliefs that you want to change, and next to them (preferably in red pen) write a new empowering belief that will replace it.

It’s very hard to just stop believing in something that’s why the process of replacing old, limiting belief with new, empowering one is more efficient.

Read them daily, make mantras and affirmations with them, put them on sticky notes and read them whenever you pass by. them with that’s why we will hear

Is your desire to lose weight? Schedule a FREE Weight Loss Consultation. I’m here to help you get yourself on weight losing track!

Be patient! 

Start very small start by thinking about your desires and admitting them to yourself.

Having what you desire is not something that happens overnight so be patient.  

It needs some time to change because your beliefs are with you for a long long time so it does take some time to change them.

The fact is, you can change your beliefs, you can have whatever you desire. Just trust and follow the process.

When you plant the seed, a new belief in your mind it needs some time to grow. Just like when a flower seed, it needs some time to grow and become a beautiful flower.

You deserve to have all you desire!

So make sure to have big desires and trust you can make them come true.

 

Sara Dune, MPharm

Love Coach

 

WHO IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LOSING WEIGHT?

WHO IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LOSING WEIGHT?

Listen a full episode of Your Way To Healthy podcast.

Who is holding you back from losing weight? Well, I’m guessing you said:  “me”.  And you’re right. You’re the person who is holding you back from losing weight.

The answer is a pretty obvious one. But before you say: “I know that” and stop reading this article, stick with me for a second.

Have you ever thought how many personalities are in you?

You’re different person in different circumstances

There is kind you, happy you, angry you. You who wants to workout and eat healthy and another one is you who wants to overeat. You who is spending time with your family, you who is going for work, you who enjoys socializing and you who enjoys spending time at home and by herself.

You have all of these different personalities in you.

When you see yourself in all of these different situations, you realize that you are a different person in all of them.

And when I ask Who is holding you back from losing weight? Yes, it is you. But only part of you is holding you back. The other part of you wants to be thin, fit, toned and healthy.

What is constant in all of them is YOU. You in all different situations.

And that means that YOU can lose weight if you desire.

You can talk to the part of you who is holding you back and set yourself on track for weight loss, health, confidence and for the amazing life that is waiting for you.

Who is holding you back from losing weight: There is fat you and thin you

 

All these years and with all diets you were trying to go from fat you to thin you.

You were trying to neglect fat you, to push her away, to make her go on a diet.
You wanted her to exercise, to go away from your life so that you can introduce thin to yourself and others.

You have this amazing picture of you being the thin, vibrant, toned, fit person who is happy, love herself and who is confident.

The way to get there is not by pushing fat you away it’s by embracing her.

Fat you, you that you want to get rid of, that you want to make to stick to a diet and exercise, it’s here because she has a message for you.

Yes, she has a message for you.

That message can be some emotional issue that you’re storing in your life and in your body. Until you hear that message, she won’t be able to leave.

She is even making herself bigger, she’s eating more and more just to have your attention, to deliver that message. But you’re not listening to her, you’re too busy trying to push her away so that you can introduce thin you in your life.

The way to bring thin you in your life is by listening to fat you, to hear that part of you who is overeating, who doesn’t exercise, who is not healthy. Just listen to her, hear a message that she’s trying to tell you, hear what is that emotional issue that she’s dealing with.

When you get into that conversation, you’ll be able really to lose weight and to lose weight for good.

Wanna talk about why you’re holding yourself back from losing weight? Schedule a FREE Consultation Call. I’m here to help you get yourself on weight losing track!

Who is holding you back from losing weight: Conscious vs. Subconscious mind

In your conscious mind you think your natural state of being is thin you, healthy you, confident you, vibrant you. The one who is so happy and energetic.

But for your subconscious mind, a comfortable state is actually another part of you, fat you, part of that might not appear the healthiest and the happiest. For your subconscious mind that’s the comfort zone, that’s where you feel safe, that’s where you can solve all of your issues with food.

As fat you, you can get comfort with food and you don’t have to have an excuse about it.

Think about it, as a thin person, you cannot comfort yourself with food but as a fat person, you can.

As a thin you, you have to deal with your emotional issues in another way. Not by eating them, not by going to the kitchen and eating a full bag of potato chips.

As a thin you, you have to find other ways to deal with your uncomfortable emotions.

And your subconscious mind doesn’t know other ways.

Your subconscious mind knows whenever you feel stressed, bored or lonely you eat

That’s how you overcome discomfort and that is the most important for your subconscious. It wants you safe, it wants you comfortable and it really doesn’t care if you have spear tires on your waist as long as you ‘re avoiding emotional pain.

We want now to send a message to your subconscious mind that it is safe to lose weight.

I will be happy when I lose weight. I will be healthy when I lose weight, I will be safe, I will be comfortable and I will find a way of dealing with my emotions.

fat you vs. thin you

You have this huge battle inside of you – fat vs. thin you, two parts who want different things are fighting for your attention. and really fighting for

One part of you is fat and wants to eat and feel comfortable and another part of you is thin and wants to eat healthy to exercise, be energetic, confident and vibrant.

Two different personalities who want two different things from you.

Dealing with your emotions by eating is much easier than actually facing these emotions.

Who is holding you back from losing weight: You’re two letters away from losing weight

 

Write two letters.

1. One letter will be from thin you to fat you telling her how she feels, what she wants and how her life would look like if she is in charge.

2. The other letter will be from fat you to thin you telling why she’s still here, what is the message she wants to deliver.

Her message might be: I don’t feel safe when I’m attractive, that’s why I have this fat shield on me to protect me from looks.

 

The message is – I have emotional issues from my past which I haven’t dealt with.

Recommendation: Meditate, Journal and allow yourself to receive the message.

You’re in control and you’re ultimately deciding which part of you will be incharge.

For most of the people this process will be very difficult, and if you’re one of them know that it’s ok. Tears, resistance, denial,… they are all normal parts of this process.

Remember, the only way to achieve your goals is to do something different than what we’ve been doing till now.

If you want to be a different person you have to be willing to do different things.

Allow yourself to try something different (like writing a letter to you) and, trust me your results will be different.

Listen a full episode of Your Way To Healthy podcast.

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AGAIN

Listen a full episode of Your Way To Healthy podcast.

It’s beginning of 2019. We’re having New Year’s resolutions, goals, we’re so pumped about changing, our lives, our bodies,…

I was trying to change all my life (as you might know I was overweight for 20 years). I’ve tried to lose weight without really connecting with myself and without accepting myself.

I wanted to change myself because I didn’t accept myself. And from that place change is very hard or almost impossible.

Only when I started accepting myself, I was able to lose 50 pounds.

I was struggling with it for a really long time and I’m still discovering elements about myself that I didn’t accept fully. But we’re always work in progress.

Love yourself again: What are self-acceptance and self-love?

Difference between self-acceptance and self-love

When people talk about self-love they refer to a spa, a nap, nice clothes, body treatments, health treatments,… Self-acceptance is a much much bigger concept.

Self-acceptance is accepting yourself fully, accepting your body as it is (not accepting it as it is and I don’t want to change but rather I’m accepting it fully now and then I’ll see if I want to change it or not), your mind, your behaviour, your soul.

Why self-acceptance is important for loving yourself

It’s so easy to accept yourself when you’re kind when you love others when you’re giving. But there are situations in your life when you’re stressed, angry, frustrated. When you just burst at someone, be unkind or angry at somebody. We have to accept ourselves even in those moments.

None of us is perfect and the point is not to be perfect. Point is to be imperfect and to see beauty in our imperfection.

Self-acceptance is the acceptance of your body, mind, emotions, behaviour,… Your past, your mistakes, times when you hurt others, plus all the amazing things about you, all your strengths, all the times you were loving, you were kind. All the nice words that you said, all the nice gestures you’ve done.

Self-love is a part of and a way to self-acceptance but it’s not all of it.

If self-love and self-acceptance are something you’ve been struggling with (and still are) schedule a FREE Weight Loss Consultation. We can talk how to find your way to loving yourself again!

Love yourself again: How health and self-acceptance are connected?

As you’re loving yourself and as you’re accepting yourself that is how you’re getting rid of weight

Maybe this concept sounds a little bit alien to you because everybody’s talking about diets and exercise as a way of reaching your goals. Definitely, they’re great tools for reaching your weight loss goals, losing weight and looking great.

In order to make sure that diets, nutritional changes and exercise work, you have to do deeper work. You have to do the deeper work of accepting yourself because when you start accepting yourself and loving yourself, you want the best thing for you. And what is the best thing for you? The best thing for you is healthy food, the best thing for you is movement and exercise.

Nutrition and exercise are tools to lose weight but if you don’t do this deeper work of accepting yourself, loving yourself and if you don’t take that holistic approach to nutrition and exercise you’re very likely to fail like all the times in the past.

How to start accepting yourself and loving yourself?

I really encourage you to take very small steps because if you are coming from that dark place (as I was) of hating your body, of really wanting to change because you can’t accept yourself (as I did).

If you want to change from that place it is very hard, if you want to love yourself from that place it’s very hard and so unrealistic.

I don’t want to tell you suddenly “start loving yourself, go throw away all your clothes and buy new clothes that inspire you, go book all the treatments in the spa and take a vacation,…”

If you’re not used to loving yourself, if you’re not even used to thinking that way and you have to take tiny steps at the very beginning to start even introducing a concept in your life, to really start introducing that idea of “yes, I should love myself! I want to love myself”

Introduce the idea of loving you, think about it, get excited about it.

I want to love myself.

I cannot wait to love myself.

When you get excited about it, then you will be okay with scheduling massage, mani-pedi, buying new clothes and going to the beach.

what to do to love yourself

We’re talking about YOUR way to healthy and that means you have to find what fulfils you and what loving you means to you. For example, I love going to the beach and when I go there I recharge and fill my tank. But I know many people who cannot stand the beach – all the sand, heat and the crowd (it sounds odd to me but they don’t like it).

There is no one way that will fit all of us.

Start small, start introducing to idea of loving yourself and then start thinking what fulfils you, what are the things that you might do for yourself this week to show love towards yourself. Not only towards your body, but it can also be towards your soul (like meditation or journaling) and your mind (example reading, attending a course, learning a new language)

Self-love can be approached from so many different angles.

When you start loving yourself nutrition and exercise will be so easy. You know when you love somebody (your sister, a friend, your mother, your kid, your partner) you want the best for them.

You’ll always suggest to them to eat a salad instead of a full bag of cookies but you will allow yourself to have a full bag of cookies.

You know how to show love to others, now is the time to show it to yourself. 

If self-love and self-acceptance are something you’ve been struggling with (and still are) schedule a FREE Weight Loss Consultation. We can talk how to find your way to loving yourself again!

Listen a full episode of Your Way To Healthy podcast.

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