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You might think that my journey to becoming a love coach was an easy one: I enjoyed dating, found my husband with ease and now I’m teaching other women how to get love. But no, it was a little bit different.
It went from frustration, overwhelm, thinking that my man doesn’t exist and that I’ll end up alone to figuring out how it all works and finding my soulmate.
I want to share with you today, how I went from frustration, overwhelm, and being single to finding my soulmate and getting married 18 months later. So let’s start!
The rock bottom
My transformation journey started in April 2017. I was dating for years but that particular month I experienced a huge fiasco with online dating. Humiliation. Shame. Being treated like I was nothing. Plus, I was overweight, I wasn’t happy with the work that I do, I wasn’t happy with the amount of money that I made. And I was like: “Sandra, is this your life? Did you really create this? Do you want to continue living this way?” I touched rock bottom.
After a week of crying and victimhood, I stopped and said to myself: “This is not working at all. You’re only attracting the wrong guys and the guys who don’t want to commit. You have to stop now! You have to figure out how this works.”
That moment led me on one of the biggest journeys of my life. For me, one of the beauties of rock bottom is – you’re willing to try anything to get up because there is nothing left to lose. And that is exactly what I’ve done, everything I didn’t try before.
“One of the beauties of rock bottom is – you’re willing to try anything to get up because there is nothing left to lose.”
Transformation from within
Contrary to any dating expert advice – I stopped dating and meeting people. I said to myself: “You will figure this out. You will find your person.” And I even set the goal – I will meet my man by the first of October 2017. But that’s it. I had my resolution and nothing else.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to go, I didn’t know where to start. I just knew that in October 2017. I will have my guy.
As always, when we decide something, our path starts unfolding in front of us. Take the first step and you’ll be led to the second one and the third one… That is exactly what happened. From the rock bottom I was in, I started taking steps.
I went back to what I knew the best and that is studying and learning. I started listening to podcasts. When a podcast would lead me to a book, I would read the book. When the book led me to a course, I would buy a course. When a course led me to a coach, I would work with a coach.
It was a journey of prioritizing and working on myself. Allowing myself to invest in myself. To invest time, money, energy and everything necessary. My days look like this – working on my day job and working on myself.
So over six months, from April to October 2017. things started changing.
I started working on my mindset, confidence, started loving myself (for the first time), changing my health. I started exercising and eating healthier, visualising and meditating, changing my belief system and stepping into the version of myself I always wanted to be.
I was working on myself like my life depended on it and it did. If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself and I was following that advice. I didn’t know that any of it is going to work but I had this faith.
“If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself first.”
The inner work wasn’t enough
Six months went by. And October 2017 came. So the first of October came, my goal deadline and guess what? I didn’t meet my man.
But I learned that something was missing. I was working on myself, but I didn’t put myself out there at all. I was guided to register for online dating but I was so afraid that the same thing will happen as before. I was afraid that I’ll meet the same wrong guys as before.
I told myself, that I will do what it takes to find my dream man and if that meant going back to online dating, so be it. So I went back online.
But this time online dating felt completely different.
I was so clear about who I was looking for, who my dream man is, and what kind of relationship I want.
I was so clear about who I was, I was aware of my worth, I loved myself, I was confident.
And when I went back to online dating, when I was matching with the guys, when I was chatting with them, it was a completely different experience. Whenever I would chat with someone, if he wasn’t my dream man, I wouldn’t waste my time and let go of them. I wouldn’t give a chance to guys who were not my dream man. I wouldn’t spend hours chatting with men who I knew were not looking for the same thing as I am.
There is magic when you know what you want. You also know what you don’t want you easily say no to it.
I remember chatting with the guy who seemed perfect on paper. He had all the qualities that I wanted in a man. He said he wanted a family and a committed relationship. He was intelligent, fun, respectful, handsome. But when the time came to go on a date, he ignored me. I gave him one more chance. Next time he also ignored me. I said to myself: “My dream man wouldn’t behave like that”. So I sent him a message: “We are looking for different things”. And it was scary to let go of something that looked so good on paper. But it felt very empowering to follow my intuition and trust that my man is coming.
I was standing up for my dreams. I was standing up for my desires. And within the same week when I went back to online dating I matched with another guy who was funny, intelligent, handsome, attentive, caring. He behaved like my dream man. And he was the only person I went on a date with.
18 months later I got married to that guy.
Imagine going from frustration and overwhelm with online dating, which lasted for years, to matching with your soulmate within a week of joining a dating app. It seemed so impossible. But it’s exactly how things can work.
Later on, I started applying the same steps with my friends, and it worked for them. Then I got coaching clients. And that is my journey from a pharmacist to a love coach.
Now I’m working with women all over the world, helping them to find their soulmate and get that relationship that they desire.
Plus, within the six months, from April to October 2017. I lost 50 pounds, even though I was dieting my whole life and never succeeded in losing weight. That is the power of loving yourself, prioritizing yourself, working on yourself.
When you get in touch with who you are, what you want and why you want it, that’s when the magic happens.
“When you get in touch with who you are, what you want and why you want it, that’s when the magic happens.”
Start attracting your soulmate
I also want to lay down some steps that you can start taking today to attract your soulmate.
1. Get clear on what I want
Get clear on who is your dream man and how does your dream relationship look like.
Who is he? What are his values? What is important to him? And most importantly, get clear on how will you feel with your guy. When you visualise and meditate, tap into that feeling. That feeling is the shortcut to attracting your person.
2. Step into a version of yourself who attracts your dream man
The second thing I’ve done is working on myself: self-love, confidence, self-worth, mindset,… All that helped me to align with my desire and to bring myself up to that level of that desire.
For example, I had loads of beliefs from previous relationships, like “I’m not worthy of the love that I want”. Since I was overweight all my life that affected my confidence and self-love. All these things from my past affect how I felt and thought about myself. There was lots of work to do to bring me to the level of the person who would attract my soulmate.
3. Take action and open up to receive love
When you align with your desire you have to take action. To allow the thing you desire to come into your life you need to open up to receive love.
If you take these three steps, you will find your man, attract your soulmate, and get that relationship you desire.