How meeting fewer people will get you a dream guy
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If you want to meet your dream guy (and I’m sure you do if you’re here), I want to invite you to consider changing your perspective and the way you see dating.

Can we do things differently in dating? Can we stop approaching dating only to chase numbers and meet more and more people? Can we not only put ourselves out there but make every action and every interaction with guys more meaningful? Can we stop focusing on meeting more people and start focusing on meeting the right people?


Today I want to discuss how meeting fewer people can lead you to your soulmate. This might be completely different from what you heard before.


Experts are saying: dating is a numbers game, meet more and more people, the more people you meet the greater chance that you’ll meet your soulmate. There is nothing wrong with action, but unfortunately, action alone is not always enough to lead you to the relationship you want.

Before you put yourself out there, do this

I was dating for many years. I was putting myself out there. I was following the advice to meet more and more people. It’s logical: the more people we meet, the sooner we’ll meet our soulmates. But love doesn’t work like math. Our life is not an equation.

You can see many women out there who always have long term relationships and get married easily. On the other hand, some women are meeting hundreds of guys and they never get to their happily ever after.

When I was following the advice to treat dating as a numbers game and focus on meeting more and more people, I didn’t meet my dream guy. This strategy only led me to meet more guys who were wrong. It also lowered my confidence, got me frustrated with dating, led me to believe that I’ll end up alone.

I wanted someone to commit to me and have a meaningful relationship. But I was meeting completely the opposite. I was meeting guys who don’t want to commit, who are players, who want only “one thing”. And if you now feel like this, I completely get your pain, fear and frustration. But I also know that there is a different way.

At some point, I did something no expert will tell you – I stopped dating completely. I put all the attention on myself. I prioritized myself and focused on the inner work. After 6 months when I went back to online dating, to the same app, within a week I matched with my husband. 

So what is the difference between dating for years and meeting only the wrong guys and dating for a week and attracting my dream guy?

What made the difference for me, and what is making difference for my clients, is doing the foundational work before you take action and put yourself out there. That is when action makes sense and gets you the relationship you want.

“When you do the foundational work of mindset, confidence, self-love and knowing your desires before you put yourself out there is when you meet your dream guy.”

Sandra Hay

Love Magnet Quiz discover the number one thing that is holding you back from finding your dream man

Building a strong foundation of mindset, confidence and self-love

Your thoughts create your reality.

If you believe that all guys are the same or that guys will always betray you or that online dating doesn’t work, guess what, that is exactly what is going to happen.


Only when you shift your mindset, reprogram limiting believes and start believing that your soulmate is looking for you, he will come. When you start believing you’re worthy and deserving of your love story that is when he’ll show up.


One of my favourite quotes says “If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you are right”, You are always right.

If you believe that your soulmate is coming, you’re right.

If you believe that you’ll end up alone, you’re right.


Every action reflects what you believe in. If you believe all guys are the same, you’ll meet many people, and guess what, all of them will be the same.


The first step, before putting yourself other, is building a foundation of confidence, a strong mindset, loving yourself, knowing what you want and claiming your desires.

The first step, before putting yourself other, is building a foundation of confidence, a strong mindset, loving yourself, knowing what you want and claiming your desires.”

Sandra Hay

Dating the right way

When you do foundational work and you’re ready to take action, the quality of that action will decide if you’ll end up in a soulmate relationship or you’ll keep spinning in the cycle of meeting more and more people.

The action that will lead you to your soulmate is inspired action.

After you build your foundation, change your mindset, build confidence, love yourself and connect with your desires, start following how you feel in your body when you get ideas and inspiration.

Start noticing your thoughts, start noticing your guidance and inspiration to do certain things.

Even though I was frustrated with online dating and I didn’t want to go back on the app, I was following my inspiration. After a while of doing the inner work, I got the inspiration to go back to online dating. At first, I ignored the calling. It sounded horrible to go back there. I wanted to meet my soulmate in a different way, but this inspiration was coming to me very often. For example, at the time one of my friends met an amazing guy online and she was convincing me every day to go back.

I was getting ideas, I was getting inspiration, I was getting the same messages over and over again. As soon as I acted on this inspiration, everything changed for me.

I registered for online dating and went to the same app that was driving me crazy before. But this time it felt completely different.

Guy’s didn’t change, their behaviour didn’t change, but my reaction to them changed.

I acted differently than before, I reacted differently than before, I behaved differently than before. This time I knew what I wanted, I believed I was worthy of it and I wasn’t willing to compromise my desires.

“Inspired action is a hundred times more powerful than any action that comes from fear or lonelines.”

Sandra Hay

Inner work + Dating = Magic

If you’ve been in the same boat like me and many other women who were putting themselves out there without success, I invite you to consider a formula: inner work + dating = meeting your dream guy.

Focus on creating a strong mindset, building confidence, loving yourself and defining what kind relationship you want before you put yourself out there. That’s when dating will result in meeting your dream man.

Love Magnet Quiz discover the number one thing that is holding you back from finding your dream man


How I went from single to a dream relationship in 6 months
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You might think that my journey to becoming a love coach was an easy one: I enjoyed dating, found my husband with ease and now I’m teaching other women how to get love. But no, it was a little bit different.

It went from frustration, overwhelm, thinking that my man doesn’t exist and that I’ll end up alone to figuring out how it all works and finding my soulmate.

I want to share with you today, how I went from frustration, overwhelm, and being single to finding my soulmate and getting married 18 months later. So let’s start!

The rock bottom

My transformation journey started in April 2017. I was dating for years but that particular month I experienced a huge fiasco with online dating. Humiliation. Shame. Being treated like I was nothing. Plus, I was overweight, I wasn’t happy with the work that I do, I wasn’t happy with the amount of money that I made. And I was like: “Sandra, is this your life? Did you really create this? Do you want to continue living this way?” I touched rock bottom.

After a week of crying and victimhood, I stopped and said to myself: “This is not working at all. You’re only attracting the wrong guys and the guys who don’t want to commit. You have to stop now! You have to figure out how this works.”

That moment led me on one of the biggest journeys of my life. For me, one of the beauties of rock bottom is – you’re willing to try anything to get up because there is nothing left to lose. And that is exactly what I’ve done, everything I didn’t try before.

“One of the beauties of rock bottom is – you’re willing to try anything to get up because there is nothing left to lose.”

Sandra Hay

Transformation from within

Contrary to any dating expert advice – I stopped dating and meeting people. I said to myself: “You will figure this out. You will find your person.” And I even set the goal – I will meet my man by the first of October 2017. But that’s it. I had my resolution and nothing else.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to go, I didn’t know where to start. I just knew that in October 2017. I will have my guy.

As always, when we decide something, our path starts unfolding in front of us. Take the first step and you’ll be led to the second one and the third one… That is exactly what happened. From the rock bottom I was in, I started taking steps.

I went back to what I knew the best and that is studying and learning. I started listening to podcasts. When a podcast would lead me to a book, I would read the book. When the book led me to a course, I would buy a course. When a course led me to a coach, I would work with a coach.

It was a journey of prioritizing and working on myself. Allowing myself to invest in myself. To invest time, money, energy and everything necessary. My days look like this – working on my day job and working on myself.

So over six months, from April to October 2017. things started changing.

I started working on my mindset, confidence, started loving myself (for the first time), changing my health. I started exercising and eating healthier, visualising and meditating, changing my belief system and stepping into the version of myself I always wanted to be.

I was working on myself like my life depended on it and it did. If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself and I was following that advice. I didn’t know that any of it is going to work but I had this faith.

“If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself first.”

Sandra Hay

The inner work wasn’t enough

Six months went by. And October 2017 came. So the first of October came, my goal deadline and guess what? I didn’t meet my man.

But I learned that something was missing. I was working on myself, but I didn’t put myself out there at all. I was guided to register for online dating but I was so afraid that the same thing will happen as before. I was afraid that I’ll meet the same wrong guys as before.

I told myself, that I will do what it takes to find my dream man and if that meant going back to online dating, so be it. So I went back online.

But this time online dating felt completely different.

I was so clear about who I was looking for, who my dream man is, and what kind of relationship I want.

I was so clear about who I was, I was aware of my worth, I loved myself, I was confident.

And when I went back to online dating, when I was matching with the guys, when I was chatting with them, it was a completely different experience. Whenever I would chat with someone, if he wasn’t my dream man, I wouldn’t waste my time and let go of them. I wouldn’t give a chance to guys who were not my dream man. I wouldn’t spend hours chatting with men who I knew were not looking for the same thing as I am.

There is magic when you know what you want. You also know what you don’t want you easily say no to it.

I remember chatting with the guy who seemed perfect on paper. He had all the qualities that I wanted in a man. He said he wanted a family and a committed relationship. He was intelligent, fun, respectful, handsome. But when the time came to go on a date, he ignored me.  I gave him one more chance. Next time he also ignored me. I said to myself: “My dream man wouldn’t behave like that”. So I sent him a message: “We are looking for different things”. And it was scary to let go of something that looked so good on paper. But it felt very empowering to follow my intuition and trust that my man is coming.

I was standing up for my dreams. I was standing up for my desires. And within the same week when I went back to online dating I matched with another guy who was funny, intelligent, handsome, attentive, caring. He behaved like my dream man. And he was the only person I went on a date with.

18 months later I got married to that guy.

Imagine going from frustration and overwhelm with online dating, which lasted for years, to matching with your soulmate within a week of joining a dating app. It seemed so impossible. But it’s exactly how things can work.

Later on, I started applying the same steps with my friends, and it worked for them. Then I got coaching clients. And that is my journey from a pharmacist to a love coach.

Now I’m working with women all over the world, helping them to find their soulmate and get that relationship that they desire.

Plus, within the six months, from April to October 2017. I lost 50 pounds, even though I was dieting my whole life and never succeeded in losing weight. That is the power of loving yourself, prioritizing yourself, working on yourself.

When you get in touch with who you are, what you want and why you want it, that’s when the magic happens.

“When you get in touch with who you are, what you want and why you want it, that’s when the magic happens.”

Sandra Hay

Start attracting your soulmate

I also want to lay down some steps that you can start taking today to attract your soulmate.

1. Get clear on what I want

Get clear on who is your dream man and how does your dream relationship look like.

Who is he? What are his values? What is important to him? And most importantly, get clear on how will you feel with your guy. When you visualise and meditate, tap into that feeling. That feeling is the shortcut to attracting your person.

2. Step into a version of yourself who attracts your dream man

The second thing I’ve done is working on myself: self-love, confidence, self-worth, mindset,… All that helped me to align with my desire and to bring myself up to that level of that desire.

For example, I had loads of beliefs from previous relationships, like “I’m not worthy of the love that I want”. Since I was overweight all my life that affected my confidence and self-love. All these things from my past affect how I felt and thought about myself. There was lots of work to do to bring me to the level of the person who would attract my soulmate.

3. Take action and open up to receive love

When you align with your desire you have to take action. To allow the thing you desire to come into your life you need to open up to receive love.

If you take these three steps, you will find your man, attract your soulmate, and get that relationship you desire.



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