STOP DENYING YOUR TRUE DESIRES AND GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT!

by | Jan 24, 2019 | MINDSET

Are you saying to yourself, I would like it but…?

Are you convincing yourself, “It’s ok, I’ll do it next time”?

Are you thinking “I can live without it”?

Been there, done that. And not once but million times.

And just recently admitted to myself “I really want it”, ” I don’t want it next time, I want it now”, “I can live without but I don’t want”.

why it’s hard to say “I want it”

It all started with a trip invitation I’ve got. My first thought, of course, was “Oh no, it’s too expensive, I cannot afford it. I will not go”. Which is very usual for me, that’s how I react to all opportunities in my life. I can give in time, energy, hard work but when it comes to money, it’s always “I can’t afford it”. I even convince myself “I don’t want it, I will go next time, I will go on another trip,…”

Until I started talking about it, thinking what I’m missing and realized – I really want to go! I’m denying my desire.

I couldn’t admit to myself that I want to go cause that would mean spending money that is out of my comfort zone.

I was finding all the logical reasons why I shouldn’t go, why I should go next time not now, I don’t have money, I have no time,…

Acknowledge Your Desire

Notice in your life and in other people how often we’re denying our desires. 

Acknowledging your desires is the first step in achieving that desire.

If you don’t acknowledge what you want, if you don’t say openly to yourself and to others what you truly want, most probably you will not achieve it. 

A lot of people say “I want to lose weight”, “I want to look good for a birthday party”, “I want to fit in my old jeans”,…

In order to fulfil our desire, we have to dig a little bit deeper and really find our true desires and why we want it.

Why is important for you to look amazing on your best friend’s wedding party? Why is important to you to fit in old jeans? Is it because you want to impress other people and to show everyone how you look great or that is truly important to you, to look good, to be confident.

When you go deeper and realize that for you is not important to look good, but to be confident or maybe you want to lose weight to be healthy and has not much to do with fitting in old jeans.

Your true desires is not to see a lower number on the scale (lower number on the scale feels good for 5 seconds and then what?) but to feel great, to be confident, to look good, enjoy shopping or have more energy. 

Ask yourself “Why I want it? What is my reason? What is my true desire?”

That desire will last long, that desire will fill your soul and drive you to your goal.

The first step in accomplishing anything is acknowledging your true desire

This can come with a lot of emotions (fear, excitement, happiness, doubt,…) and when it does know that thet is normal.

As I mentioned a trip I want to take, I didn’t even ask myself what I wanted. The first thing I did was the usual “It’s too expensive”, “I don’t have money”, “I’ll go next time”,…

The same thing is happening with weight loss. If you have 250 pounds, you probably don’t allow yourself to have a desire to have 120 pounds.

You’ll say I want to lose 50 pounds but that goal is not exciting enough. You know when you reach 200 pounds, you’ll not be that happy and you’ll want more and more and more.

Dig deeper and don’t be afraid of your desires.

Many of us are afraid of our desires because we think we’re asking too much, it’s for others not for us.

The first thing is to acknowledge the desire no matter how big it looks like right now.

By acknowledging desire you’re acknowledging a person you want to become. A person you’ll be when you lose all of the weight or when you accomplish any desire.

The first step is to acknowledge a desire and to admit to yourself. YES, I want this, YES, I want to have 130 pounds. YES, I want to be toned, I want to be fit, I want to eat healthy, I want to enjoy eating salad,..

Small or big is of less importance than to say to you what you truly want

Record Your Desire

Put it down on a piece of paper.

Write it down in a journal.

Write down how you’ll feel when you achieve your desire. Allow yourself to live that moment, how you will look, how your life will look like, who you will be surrounded with, where you will be,… everything and anything.

Don’t be afraid if you have 250 pounds to write down “I want to weight 120 pounds”.

From your perspective right now that seems so far ahead, that might seem even impossible. But don’t forget there are so many people who weight 120 pounds and that means that it’s possible for you too.

So whatever it is put it down on a piece of paper and don’t be afraid of it.

 

Take it a step further

If you want to take it step further – tell someone.

Tell someone you trust, your friend, your sister, a family member your partner.

Tell them what you truly want. Speak about it.

The more you speak about it, the more it becomes reality.

When talking to somebody else you’re talking to yourself and seeing yourself reaching the desire and bringing it to reality.

I know that it might feel so hard even to admit to yourself that we want something. So when you take it step further and admit to other person, it can be very scary. The bigger desire the scariest it is.

If your desire doesn’t scare you than you might consider desiring even bigger.

If your desire is easily achievable it will not scare you and it will not excite you. But when you reach that point when you’re scared when thinking about it feels like “I cannot do this”, “people will think that I’m crazy”, “that is not possible for me”,…

When you reach that point that means you’re on the right track.

Believe

The third step is – belief.

Believe that you can do it.

As I have mentioned before, if you saw anyone already having what you want to have, the money you want to have, the body that you want,… If there is one person in this world having what you want, it means it’s humanly possible and if it’s possible for them, it’s possible for you.

So many people fail in this step.

They have a desire, talk about it, dream about it but deep inside they don’t believe that they can achieve it.

When you’re overweight, failed in so many diets, tried so hard to lose weight but haven’t succeeded, it’s hard to believe that you can lose weight. Otherwise, you would lose it till now.

After all diets and failing in them it’s so easy to lose faith and belief that you can lose weight.

Beliefs can be changed.

Belief is only a thought that you keep on thinking. Beliefs aren’t who you are, beliefs are created and adopted.

Changing your beliefs it’s a process of recognizing your beliefs (specifically negative beliefs that are limiting you and not serving you) and replacing them with other beliefs that are serving you more.

How to do that? Simple, write down beliefs that you want to change, and next to them (preferably in red pen) write a new empowering belief that will replace it.

It’s very hard to just stop believing in something that’s why the process of replacing old, limiting belief with new, empowering one is more efficient.

Read them daily, make mantras and affirmations with them, put them on sticky notes and read them whenever you pass by. them with that’s why we will hear

Be patient! 

Start very small start by thinking about your desires and admitting them to yourself.

Having what you desire is not something that happens overnight so be patient.  

It needs some time to change because your beliefs are with you for a long long time so it does take some time to change them.

The fact is, you can change your beliefs, you can have whatever you desire. Just trust and follow the process.

When you plant the seed, a new belief in your mind it needs some time to grow. Just like when a flower seed, it needs some time to grow and become a beautiful flower.

You deserve to have all you desire!

So make sure to have big desires and trust you can make them come true.

Sandra Hay

Sandra Hay

Sandra Hay is a Love and Relationship coach helping single women find their dream man and get the relationship they desire through self-love and self-acceptance. She is the creator of Love Attraction Method and a host of the Love Magic podcast.

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